5 Tips for NOT Comparing Yourself to Others — Monday Motivation
This past week I found myself looking through Instagram and feeling envious of others posts, of people doing great stuff I aspire to do, fully aware that these types of
apples to oranges comparisons are unhealthy. And yet, I couldn’t help it.
Once I started to analyze these thoughts, I realized they resulted in a void I have inside that I have not yet fully fulfilled.
Ironically, shortly after, I was reading/working through a book “Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration” by Meera Lee Patel. It’s an interactive book with quotes & journaling type tasks – a great book I suggest to everyone, no matter what your goals are. But on one of the pages it had asked to write down 10 big dreams you haven’t fulfilled yet.
After writing down a few items, I couldn’t think of any more and something interesting happened. I realized that I have already been living out and have had some level of success with many of the dreams I have. The “big dreams” in fact weren’t that big and much closer than I consciously realized. And something clicked.
Actually, 5 things clicked and I wanted to share them with you.
It’s human nature to compare yourself to someone else and social media has made this much easier to do. Perhaps that’s the biggest downside to its existence–but it’s not going away, so it’s important you are equipped with how to deal when you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else.
- Don’t compare yourself to a fantasy. Nothing – not an idea, a vocation, or a person – has benefits without drawbacks, support without challenge, or pleasure without pain. We on social media often only post positive aspects of our lives. To counteract this, I am working on doing a better job of sharing my journey & struggle. In my experience in the TV world and through working closely with some of the top “gurus” in the world, I can tell you things are NOT what they appear. Social media can it make it appear as if certain people live a life of fantasy or have these incredible physiques just because they work out. Just remember there is always a downside.
- Lean on others for inspiration but don’t get caught on putting them a pedestal. When you put someone on a pedestal, you minimize yourself. Realize that what you see in others, you have within yourself. It just might be in a form you haven’t recognized yet or perhaps you’re demonstrating it in a different context.
- Be real with yourself. When I really looked into my void, I reminded myself that I have a plan in place so that I’m actively taking small steps towards fulfilling this void. While important, this void is not currently my No. 1 priority; it takes a back seat, so really how could I expect it to be any further along than it is? It’s important to constantly match your behavior with your expectations. You can’t expect to get and stay lean when you have a glass of wine every night and throw your diet away on the weekends. And by the way, I’m not saying doing so is a bad thing—as long as your expectations match your behaviors.
- Take inventory of your wins. I was bullied and suffered from bad self confidence as a kid. Fast forward to today, my highest value as an adult is to build my mental & physical health so I can inspire others to do the same and I have an incredible ambition to help millions of people. As a result, I often make the mistake of looking past all of the progress I’ve made. I see you m.e.l.t.ers make this same mistake all the time. You lose 26 lbs. in 2 months, change your lifestyle, are leaner than ever, and are doing movements you never thought you could, but then get annoyed because the scale isn’t moving.
- Where you are right now is just where you are. You are NOT stuck! You’ve heard it said but it’s true, the prize is the process. When you reach your goals but then quickly desire something else, there’s no true satisfaction. Find fulfillment in the daily grind and know that whatever you truly value—which is demonstrated by your behaviors—you can make happen. I strongly suggest you read psychologist Carol Dweck’s book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.”
Don’t shy away from your struggles. The only way to conquer them is to face them. Remember to take time to develop and build yourself each day – we need you out there.
What are you currently struggling with? What’s your biggest takeaway from this post? Please comment below with some good detail as I’ve love to hear from you.
Make sure to share this post with someone who you think could benefit from it.
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